The day after

Since last night was my second experience in the realm of spiritual cleansing, I thought it necessary to write about the things that occur the day after such an experience.

First of all, sleep eluded me last night. I think part of it was fear that my body would once again drift into the space it had occupied earlier in the evening. It is not that I do not want to go back there, I actually want to, need to.. but the physical exhaustion is profound. I felt completely drained, as if I had been crying for hours and hours..

I wish I knew how long the entire experience lasted, maybe I will time it next time.

Anyway, as I tossed and turned, little pieces of emotional baggage floated to the surface.. things I need to work on, places I need to heal. It was almost as if the experience was some how lingering, but not dramatic as it had when I was in the zone.. I do not even know what to call that place right now.

I should mention that during the experience last night, in addition to extreme emotional pain that manifested itself physically, I also cried at the beauty of the little girl with her daddy, the ceremony on the beach. I cried at how beautiful it was, how it was every feeling I have ever wanted to feel, that was always just out of reach.

Somehow, the experience gave me a sense of knowing. Just knowing that everything I have ever desired is coming to me, I just have to sit back and let it unfold. I imagine, I also have to work on some more emotional baggage too. Which reminds me, I feel lighter today. Physically lighter, as if some of those heavy, heavy things I have been holding onto were removed through this experience. My heart feels lighter,less heavy.

My shoulder... does not hurt at all today. I have been struggling with a pinched nerve and muscle spasms for weeks and weeks, but as I envisioned sending healing energy to my shoulder last night, I think it actually worked. Ironically, the other side feels tight today, perhaps next time I should send that healing energy to everything in my body. Perhaps it is true that we get what we focus on...

I cannot express in any words, last nights experience or even the long term effects that may linger. I just know that it was an amazing transormation for me and I would like to continue this journey.